song: someone new by hozier
read time: 5 mintues
i’m not sure if anyone really loves it. at least, i don’t. i like things that are familiar. the idea of something changing and being permanent — it kinda freaks me out a bit.
i’ve been doing variations of ombré and blonde since 2012. which, maybe doesn’t seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things — but when your natural hair color is brown and you weren’t allowed to even dye your hair until you went away to college, three years as a semi-blonde is a lot.
i loved being blonde. i’m not sure why, but i just loved it.
until… i started seeing pictures of red hair and thought to myself — “YES! i need to do that!” i thought about it for months on end before i actually did it. i was nervous to make the change. i was nervous, because it took me forever to get to the blonde i had. i was nervous, because if i didn’t like it — i was going to be stuck. i was nervous because it was change.
but then, i had this thought — “why the heck not!”
it made me realize, what am i missing out on in life because i am nervous of doing something that is a little unpredictable? something that is a little outside of my normal and requires a little change?
in the grand scheme of things, the decision to dye my hair wasn’t a big deal. but sometimes, we do this in life — we make decisions seem as if they are life altering. yeah, i mean, some are. but in the end, all decisions alter our life a little bit. decisions are like laying out railroad tracks — each decision is laying out the tracks for where the train of your life is going to go. see, we decide. without screwing up anyone’s theology, i do believe we have free will and co-author our lives with God. our daily decisions or lack of decisions set the tracks for our lives to follow.
personally, i want my train tracks to lead somewhere exciting, somewhere grand, somewhere magical. but that is going to require me to lay out tracks and make decisions that are a little bold.
i was recently in ecuador with one of my best friends. she’s been living there for the past three years and ever since she’s been trying to get me to come and live there for a couple months. i almost did it a couple times, but something always held me back. this time, after spending ten days with her and some friends in the city of quito — i decided, “why the heck not!” i don’t have any reasons holding me back other than: 1] it’s unfamiliar 2] it’s living in a nation so very different from mine 3] i’m only conversational in spanish [which according to my tia, is just as bad as not knowing the language. which, is true. i’m half mexican. i should be fluent. but that’s another issue.]
yes, they are all reasons. but in the grand scheme of things — they are obstacles i can overcome. they aren’t reasons that ought to keep me from experiencing something.
this past weekend, i bought a plane ticket to head back to ecuador in january. typing in the return date on priceline was a little nerve-wracking to be honest — i skipped past february and march and picked april 26th as the day i’ll return to the US of A. then, i clicked the purchase button.
i freaked out a little bit, because now this wasn’t just an idea. it was something real that was going to happen. it was change.
but why the heck not!
i think we all need to live life a little more like this.
at a wedding i attended recently, it seemed like every conversation i had catching up with random acquaintances was filled with people who were wishing they were somewhere else in life. they wanted change, but weren’t making any changes. they wanted new jobs, but weren’t applying. the wanted to start businesses, but weren’t taking leaps. they wanted to travel, but weren’t making plans.
why? they had reasons. but the reasons weren’t the life-altering kind that ought to hold you back and force you to hit the pause button.
what i am saying is this — experience something.
take on change — because why the heck not! stop thinking about all the reasons stacking up against your decision, and take the plunge.
the beauty in all of this is that life is long. we have a lot of years on this earth. if we discover we don’t like red hair, we can always go back. if you decide that you just don’t like photography like you thought you would, you can always quit and do something else. if you decided that you don’t like living in the big city, you can always move back to the suburbs.
you are never going to get this season of life back. the decisions you are making now are laying out the railroad tracks for your life.
when i walked in the front door, dropped my bags off, and told my mom i wanted to move to ecuador in january — she asked me why. my response, “i don’t want to look back on life and wonder would have happened if i went. i don’t want to look back with regret that i didn’t do it and missed out on an opportunity to experience something.”
i challenge you —
don’t let fear of change or the unknown be the thing that keeps you from making decisions to do the things you want to in life or living the life you want. nothing is ever permanent [minus marriage, babies, and really bad plastic surgery. you can’t get rid of those.] your choices today have the ability to lead you somewhere magical tomorrow. so let’s get rid of the excuses and the fear of change and start saying, “why the heck not!”